


Never Have I Ever

by fangirl_squee



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Multi, Outdoor Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, local dad-type has a better time in the woods than he thought he would
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Hadrian, Fero, and Adaire play a drinking game, and Fero and Adaire tease Hadrian, in multiple meanings of the word.





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> I.... listen. One moment we were talking about fatt rarepairs and the next I had written this.
> 
> thanks to maddie, for betaing

Hadrian was supposed to be on first watch while the others rested, adrenaline making him feel too twitchy to get any restful sleep. Adaire and Fero must have felt much the same, not bothering to get out their own bedrolls, choosing instead to verbally poke at each other. 

 

Hadrian tuned them out, listening for sounds outside of their circle of firelight. He jumped when Adaire yelled his name and he looked at her, startled.

 

“I  _ said _ ,” said Adaire, “did you want to play ‘never have I ever’ with us? Or are you just going to sit there and be no fun?”

 

“I think it’s in his nature to do the second thing,” said Fero, pulling bottles of a deep brown liquid out of his pack.

 

“I’ll play,” said Hadrian.

 

“Good,” said Adaire. “It’s more fun with more people. But I think we should have some ground rules.”

 

“Like what?” said Fero.

 

He passed Hadrian one of the bottles before hopping up beside Adaire.

 

“Nothing too invasively personal,” said Hadrian.

 

Fero made a face. “Boring.”

 

“Yeah,” said Adaire. “That might be how you play it in  _ the church _ , but that’s not how you  _ actually _ play it.”

 

“Well what were  _ you _ going to say the rules should be?” said Hadrian, frowning.

 

“Number one,” said Adaire. “You have to be truthful about whether or not you should drink.”

 

Hadrian nodded slowly. “Okay.”

 

“Number two,” Adaire continued, “no asking questions that would implicate someone in a crime.”

 

“What,” said Hadrian.

 

“For example, I  _ could  _ say ‘never have I ever set a building on fire’, but I  _ couldn’t _ say ‘never have I ever set the Rosemerrow New-Old Museum on fire’,” said Adaire.

 

“Oh,” said Fero, “good call.”

 

“And that’s it,” said Adaire.

 

Fero nodded. They both looked at Hadrian expectantly.

 

Hadrian rubbed his forehead. “Okay.”

 

Adaire grinned. “Right. Who wants to start?”

 

Hadrian cleared his throat. “I will, uh…” he tried to think of a decent opening gambit. “Never have I ever been on a boat.”

 

He took a small sip. Fero rolled his eyes, taking a drink. Adaire did not.

 

She shrugged. “I’m not a fan of deep water.”

 

“Oh, it’s the worst,” said Fero, nodding.

 

Adaire gestured to him with her bottle, and Fero bit his lip, thinking for a moment.

 

“Hmm,” said Fero, “never have I ever… stolen something from someone I was sleeping with.”

 

This time, he and Adaire both drank. Hadrian did not. 

 

“Get anything good?” said Fero casually.

 

Adaire shrugged. “Bits and pieces.”

 

Fero nodded, apparently satisfied with her answer.

 

Adaire bit the inside of her cheek, looking slyly at Fero out of the corner of her eye.

 

“Never have I ever had sex with an animal,” said Adaire, looking at Fero expectantly.

 

“What! No!”

 

“Well you can turn into animals!” said Adaire, “I was just curious!”

 

“But you know I’m not  _ actually _ an animal, right?”

 

“Maybe we should make those kinds of questions off limits too,” said Hadrian.

 

“Afraid of what I’m going to ask you?” said Adaire.

 

“No,” said Hadrian.

 

“He totally is!” said Fero, gleefully, all traces of outrage gone.

 

_ Well _ , thought Hadrian,  _ at least they’re getting along _ .

 

“I am not,” said Hadrian, trying to keep his tone level.

 

“Well, it’s your turn,” said Adaire, “think of something good.”

 

“Never have I ever,” Hadrian’s mind went blank, “killed someone.”

 

All three of them drank.

 

“You’re making this game way too morbid,” said Fero.

 

“Yeah, you get that this is supposed to be a fun party game, right?” said Adaire, “Not a confessional.”

 

“Well then  _ you  _ think of a good question,” said Hadrian.

 

“Easy. Never have I ever,” Adaire paused, “had sex with someone outside my own species.”

 

Fero immediately took a drink, a big one. Adaire raised her eyebrows at him slightly, taking a smaller sip of her own. Hadrian rolled his bottle, much fuller than either of theirs, between his palms.

 

Adaire gave Fero a look. “Is it who I think it is?”

 

“Probably. I mean it was just the one time because he got all,” Fero waved a hand, “ _ weird _ about it, but he's not the only one on that particular list. I'm an adventurous guy.“

 

“Adventurous, huh?” said Adaire, “Adventurous as in who, exactly?”

 

Fero flicked a glance at Hadrian, then leaned forward. His hand rested lightly on Adaire's thigh as he leant up to whisper in her ear. Adaire's eyes widened slightly. 

 

“She was a  _ lot  _ bigger than you,” said Adaire, “How'd you manage that?”

 

“When you're my size, most people are,” said Fero. “You can make pretty much anything work of you try. And I take notes very well.”

 

“You  _ are _ an adventurous guy,” said Adaire. Her voice had an edge to it Hadrian hadn’t heard from her before.

 

Fero shrugged, grinning as he leant back a little. Hadrian noticed his hand lingering on Adaire's leg. He quickly averted his eyes, looking down at his drink.

 

“And you?” said Fero

 

“Well,” said Adaire, drawing the word out, “the most recent would have been when we had a little time before we left Rosemerrow. It's important to make good... contacts.”

 

Fero hummed. “Anyone I know?”

 

“Depends on who you know.”

 

They grinned at each other. Fero held his bottle up and Adaire clinked hers against his. They both turned and looked at Hadrian, who had pointedly put his bottle down.

 

“Really?” huffed Fero. 

 

“I… I'm married,” said Hadrian. 

 

“Married, huh?” said Adaire, “What about Hella?”

 

“How did- I mean, that was-,” spluttered Hadrian. 

 

Adaire and Fero laughed. 

 

Adaire slid her eyes towards Fero. “I'd say it's pretty obvious, wouldn't you, Fero?“

 

“Yeah,” said Fero. “That and she told me.”

 

Adaire laughed. “Me too! For someone who doesn't like to talk, she shares secrets well enough.”

 

“If you get her in the right mood,” said Fero. 

 

Adaire sighed. “And what a mood it is.”

 

Fero hummed in agreement. 

 

“Things with Hella were…. it was before I was married,” said Hadrian.

 

“So, before that… ?” said Fero. 

 

Hadrian still didn't pick up his bottle.

 

“ _ Never _ ?” said Fero, “Not even  _ one  _ time?”

 

“Fero, you forget _ ,” _ said Adaire. “Hadrian's a good church boy. He would  _ never  _ do something like  _ that. _ ”

 

“That’s not- I mean, it’s just never come up,” said Hadrian.

 

Fero snorted, and Adaire bumped their shoulders together.

 

“Fero, you know he didn’t mean it like  _ that _ ,” said Adaire, “Hadrian would  _ never _ .”

 

“You thought it too,” said Fero defensively.

 

“Of course, you and I, Fero, we’re worldly types. we’ve had all kinds of experiences,” said Adaire, not looking at Hadrian. “You can’t expect someone who’s been cloistered away from everything like that to have those experiences.”

 

“I’ve had experiences!” said Hadrian, regretting the words almost as soon as they were out his mouth.

 

Adaire and Fero looked over at him wearing matching grins.

 

“I bet we could show you a thing or two,” said Adaire.

 

“I bet we could show him more than that,” said Fero.

 

“I- you’re both being ridiculous,” said Hadrian, “I’m a man of the world, I’ve seen  _ plenty _ of things.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” said Fero, “Prove it.”

 

Hadrian felt himself flush. “I, uh.”

 

“We'll show you how it's done, since you’re having so much trouble,” said Adaire. “Right Fero?”

 

Fero's teeth glinted in the firelight. “Right.”

 

“I know how to-”

 

Hadrian's voice died in his throat as Adaire pulled Fero onto her lap. Fero slid a hand to her neck, levering himself up to kiss her. Adaire's hands slid under him, keeping him steady. 

 

“I'll, uh, just go for a walk,” said Hadrian, “or something.”

 

“No,” said Adaire, leaning around Fero to look at him, “you will sit, right there. This is education for church boys.”

 

“I-”

 

“Sit. Right. There.”

 

Adaire's voice made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Hadrian's toes curled in his boots, something clenching low in his belly. He nodded. 

 

“Good boy,” said Adaire, looking back to Fero, “Now, where do we start? Since obviously he doesn't know  _ anything _ .”

 

“I  _ have  _ a son,” said Hadrian testily.

 

Fero hummed thoughtfully, ignoring him. “Most important things first, I think?”

 

Adaire huffed a laugh. “As long as we're on the same page about what that is, sure.”

 

Fero wriggled down, so that he was kneeling in-between her legs. Hadrian could see Fero's hands running up the insides of Adaire's thighs before they disappeared from his view. His own hands curled at his sides. 

 

“It seems like we are,” said Adaire, huffing a laugh,  “Good.”

 

Adaire slid her hand to his hair, moving him into place as she rocked her hips forward gently. Adaire’s breath began to come more quickly, and he could hear Fero making soft noises from where his face was pressed against the fabric of Adaire’s skirt. Hadrian felt as though something was binding his chest, stopping him from being able to get in enough air.

 

Adaire wriggled, and it took a moment for Hadrian to figure out what she was doing until he saw her thick wool leggings slip down her legs. Fero’s head disappeared under her skirt. Adaire bit her lip, closing her eyes as she tilted her head back. The slick, wet noises sounded loud in the quiet of the forest.

 

Hadrian felt frozen in place, his hands gripping tight to the log he was sitting on, the bark digging into his fingers in an unpleasant way. But he was told not to move.  Adaire gasped, rolling her hips, and Hadrian shifted forward and back a little, mimicking her movement. Adaire lowered her head, looking directly at him, her gaze travelling down to where his erection was straining against the fabric of his pants. Hadrian froze, feeling his cheeks flush.

 

Adaire smirked. “Glad to see you’re paying attention.”

 

Hadrian opened his mouth to reply, but watching the scene in front of him drove all words from his mind. He licked his lips, and then pressed them together.

 

The smirk slipped from Adaire face as she gasped again, hips jerking up as she clutched at Fero’s shoulder. The movement pushed away her skirt, revealing Fero’s sweat-damp hair as he moved between her legs. Adaire pulled at Fero’s hair, and Fero whined, a high and needy sound.

 

Hadrian could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. He palmed himself, groaning at the pull of the fabric along his length. 

 

Adaire's eyes snapped open. “Hadrian. I told you to stay right there. That means  _ don't move _ .”

 

Hadrian's face felt as hot as the flames of their fire. “But you-”

 

“We'll get to you  _ later, _ ” said Adaire. “You're supposed to be  _ paying attention. _ I thought you church boys were supposed to be good at taking direction?”

 

Fero twisted to look back at him. His mouth looked impossibly wet and red, glistening in the firelight. He grinned at Hadrian, wide and smug. Hadrian felt a flare of something, deep in his gut. Irritation, he decided. 

 

“I-” Hadrian swallowed, curling his hands at his sides again. “Sorry.”

 

“That's better,” said Adaire. Fero nodded, seeming a bit feral. Hadrian shivered.

 

She tugged at Fero's hair, getting him back in place. Hadrian could see more of her now, the expanse of her pale thigh before it met Fero’s scruffy hair. Adaire hands looked stark against Fero’s brown skin as she clutched at his neck, pulling at his hair again.

 

Hadrian could see, from his angle, Fero put a hand down his pants.

 

“How come he gets to-”

 

“Because he’s  _ participating _ ,” said Adaire. Her voice shook slightly as she arched into Fero again.

 

“I’m willing to participate,” said Hadrian, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt.

 

“We’ll see-” Adaire’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment and she took a deep breath, “We’ll see how generous I’m feeling after.” She looked down at Fero. “But I suppose it  _ is _ a little unfair.” She tugged at Fero’s hair sharply to get his attention on her words. “Fero. Find another use for your hands.”

 

Fero grinned. “I can think of a few.”

 

“I only need you find one-  _ oh _ ,” said Adaire.

 

Fero was gripping Adaire’s thigh with one hand, while his other was- his other was-. Well, Hadrian couldn’t see it, but he could imagine it, just like he could imagine what Fero’s mouth looked like where it was pressed eagerly against Adaire’s opening, making truly  _ obscene _ noises. Show off.

 

Hadrian swallowed hard, pressing his legs together, feeling his stomach clench with every small breathy noise Fero pulled from Adaire. Her breathing became more ragged, the movement of her hips more erratic until she stilled, arching, her hands pulling Fero forward by his hair as her thighs clamped down on his ears.

 

Hadrian bit his lip, hard, but he couldn’t manage to stop a small whimper from escaping. He was very glad they were both probably too distracted to hear it.

 

Adaire relaxed backwards, petting Fero’s hair gently for a moment before letting him go. He sat back on his heels, wiping his mouth as he looked up at her. Adaire kissed him softly, once. 

 

“So what’s next?” said Fero.

 

“Next?” said Hadrian. His voice sounded hoarse.

 

Adaire gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fero, it sounds like our boy here still needs further instruction.”

 

“Figures old-school church types aren’t fast learners,” said Fero.

 

Hadrian glared at both of them.

 

Fero laughed. “Well.” He looked slyly up at Adaire. “You know how I was saying I could make anything work?”

 

Adaire’s hand went to his hair again, carding through it. “Mmm?”

 

“And you’re a lot smaller than most.”

 

“Still bigger than you though,” said Adaire.

 

“I- yeah,” said Fero, his face flushed. “Yeah, but I’m okay with that.”

 

“Oh really?” said Adaire, an edge of laughter to her voice. “It’s like  _ that _ huh?”

 

“Hey,” said Fero, grinning, “When you’re smaller than everyone, you may as well lean into it.”

 

“Hadrian,” said Adaire, not looking away from Fero, “go get my bedroll out of my pack and lay it out here for me.”

 

Hadrian stood, trying to walk in such a way that the fabric of pants gave to least amount of friction. He groaned as he bent to pull out Adaire’s bedroll, biting his lip to try and muffle the sound. When he turned around to face them again, Fero was plastered against Adaire, his hands running down her sides under her coat as they kissed.

 

“I,” Hadrian cleared his throat, “where do you want me to…?”

 

Adaire looked at him, eyes travelling lazily down his body, making him feel as though his skin was on fire. Hadrian tensed, fighting the urge to cover himself with the bedroll.

 

“Just in front of us here,” said Adaire.

 

Fero shifted slightly to the side so Hadrian could lay it down by the fire.

 

Adaire patted the log she was sitting on. “You can sit here.”

 

Hadrian sat down, swallowing hard as Adaire guided Fero to lie down.

 

“Your’s is way more comfortable than mine,” said Fero, wriggling a little.

 

“Don’t get it too dirty,” said Adaire.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” said Fero grinning.

 

Adaire climbed on top of of Fero, her skirt fanning out to cover along his whole body like a blanket, rolling their hips together. Fero’s eyes went wide, and Hadrian was close enough now to see his throat working as he swallowed, and to see the flush building on the their cheeks.

 

“ _ Adaire _ ,” said Fero.

 

Fero’s voice cracked slightly, making Hadrian’s breath catch in his throat. He gripped the edge of the log as he had done before, forcing himself to be still.

 

“Yeah,” said Adaire, her voice losing some of its composure. “Yeah, okay.”

 

Fero’s hands reached under the fabric of her skirt, and Adaire lifted her hips. Fero wriggled, tongue between his teeth. The fabric of Adaire’s skirt covered them fully so Hadrian couldn’t see what was happening - it was even worse in a way. His mind helpfully supplied a picture of what they looked like under Adaire’s skirt, as Adaire and Fero fell into a rhythm. Adaire fell forward, her arms braced on the bedroll over Fero’s shoulders. Fero whined, hands palming her chest as he arched up into her.

 

“Seems like your experience with halflings came in handy,” said Fero, sounding a more than little unsteady.

 

“Well, you know what they say,” said Adaire, rolling her hips in a way that made Fero’s hand fist themselves in the fabric of her skirt. “It's all about practise. Too bad Hadrian never had the required experience to get that practise.”

 

“I have a wife,” snapped Hadrian. 

 

“Poor woman,” said Adaire. 

 

Fero cackled, the sound muffled against Adaire as he arched up. 

 

“I- She- I've done things!” said Hadrian. 

 

Adaire raised her eyebrows at him. “Well. Why don't you come over here and prove it?”

 

Hadrian inhaled sharply. “Seems like you might be busy.”

 

“Church boy’s backing out on us, Fero,” said Adaire.

 

“I knew he was all talk,” gasped Fero, voice too ragged to hold much bite to it.

 

The grin he shot Hadrian did, though, making Hadrian push himself off the log to kneel next to them. Adaire sat up straighter on Fero, her hips still moving. Hadrian was still taller than her, even kneeling, but her gaze gave the impression of someone looking down at him from a great height.

 

Adaire raised an eyebrow at him. “Well?”

 

“What do you  _ want _ me to do?” said Hadrian.

 

He’d meant to sound angry, or at least annoyed, but the words came out like a whine. His face felt hot.

 

Adaire grinned. “ _ That’s _ what I like to hear. What about you, Fero?”

 

“There’s hope for him yet,” said Fero.

 

“I keep telling you-”

 

Hadrian’s words were cut off as Adaire pulled him forward by his shirt into a kiss. He could feel her still moving up and down on Fero, and he groaned. Something brushed the front of his pants, and his hips jolted forward. He looked down, gasping, to see Fero gripping him through the fabric. Hadrian rutted against Fero’s hand, his face pressed against his own shoulder.

 

“Hadrian,” said Adaire. “Look at me.”

 

Hadrian let out a long, shaky breath, trying to regain even a little composure as he looked up. If he managed to, it was lost as soon as Fero pushed down Hadrian’s pants enough to free his erection. Hadrian bit his lip hard to muffle the sound he made as Fero gripped him, slowly running his small hand over Hadrian’s cock.

 

A slow smile spread over Adaire’s face, pleased and dangerous looking. It was hard to worry about what she was planning, hard to think at all, as Fero worked him, leaning over to use both hands. The muscles in Hadrian’s legs tensed and trembled.

 

Adaire gasped sharply, and Hadrian looked up to see why - one of her hands had disappeared under her skirt, and the other was under her shirt, the ruffle of fabric the only hint to what was happening underneath was mesmerising to Hadrian.

 

“Do you want me to-” began Fero.

 

“No,” said Adaire, her voice rough, “No keep going.”

 

Fero turned his attention back to Hadrian. Hadrian’s gaze flicked from Adaire - face flushed and pupils blown wide, her hair coming out of its intricate braids - to Fero - his hands working Hadrian hard and fast, small fingers brushing over the head of Hadrian’s cock.

 

Adaire moved her hand from her chest to Fero’s head, pushing it forward slightly, guiding it towards Hadrian. Fero didn’t need much encouragement, still using both hands to work Hadrian as he sucked the top of Hadrian’s length into his mouth. Fero groaned around him, hips stuttering upwards. 

 

Adaire let out a low moan, body tensing, and Hadrian swore he could feel the ripples of it through Fero’s touch. He followed Adaire, falling forward and managing to catch himself before he could fall onto Fero.

 

He flopped to the side, half on the bedroll above Fero. The sound of their ragged breathing seemed to echo off the trees around them.

 

“Never have I ever,” said Hadrian, after a moment, still sounding slightly out of breath, “fucked two people in the woods.”

 

There was a pause, and then Adaire and Fero laughed. Adaire leant over, grabbing one of their bottles. She took a sip, and handed it to Fero who did so as well. Fero passed the bottle onto Hadrian.

 

Hadrian grinned, looking up at the bright moon, and took a drink. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr: mariusperkins


End file.
